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Aksi lima bocah

“Pa, gedein ac-nya! Fauzan kepanasan”
“Oom, kecilin ac-nya, Iqbal dingin nih!”
“Iqbal, pake jaket aja!”

“Abang nih Ma! Adek ditendang,” Iqbal menjerit.
“Abang! Mama cubit kamu ya?!”
“Habis aku laper,” Fauzan membalas. “Kalo aku laper, aku maunya gangguin orang biar lupa lapernya!”
“Oohh gitu ya,” kata gue. “Oom Yoyok puasa, jadi bukan Abang aja yang laper, Oom juga. Kalo Oom laper, Oom maunya jitak orang biar lupa. Oom Yoyok jitakin kamu aja ya? Ayo Iqbal, Fifi, Cece, kita jitakin Fauzan! Serbuuu!!!”
“Enak aja!”
“Kamu yang enak aja!”
“Ma, tolong, Oom Yoyok nih!”
“Bodo,” kata mamanya.

“Yoyok, pipis,” kata Faiqal—sambil pipis di pangkuan gue.
Jins gue basah, pesing.

“Mau bobok sama mama!”
“Huaaaaaaa....”
Faiqal dan Aydin menangis.
Berebut mamanya.

“Huaaa...”
“Susu!”
“Berapa sendok? Airnya berapa banyak?”
“Tiga perempat air, susunya tiga sendok aja.”
Di tengah gelap, guncangan mobil, sumpeh lo, susu tumpeh di dada lo!
Dada gue basah air susu.

“Ke depan sama Oom,” kata Faiqal.
Pindah ke depan.
Dua menit.
“Sama mama.”
Pindah ke belakang.
Lima menit.
“Mau lihat sapi.”
Pindah lagi ke depan.
Kok nggak ada capeknya sih, Faiqal?

“Bau apa nih?”
“Aydin ee! Berhenti!”
“Oom Yoyok, tolong ambil air aqua, tisu basah sama pampers ada di tas.”
Sejam kemudian.
“Cari mushalla! Air habis.”
Hah? Aydin beol lagi?
Lima belas menit sampe ketemu mushalla, dan bau itu, oh bau itu.

“Hahahaha... hueeeeekkk....”
“Makanya Fifi jangan ketawa melulu, muntah kan!”
“Hueeeeekkk....”
“Udah muntahnya?”
“Udah.”
“Jalan, Oom Yoyok.”
Gigi satu. Gas. Angkat kopling.
“Hueeeeekkk....”
Lha? Katanya udah!

40 jam.

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